Sometimes you can feel undateable, but as the saying goes there is someone out there for everyone (even if you’re this guy, or one of these girls, or you live in Murray Hill.) On last night’s episode of @midnight, the Comedy Central show hosted by Chris Hardwick, comics came up with the funniest phrases they could think of in the show’s #HashtagWars segment using the hashtag #UndateableBecause. Naturally, Twitter played along:
#UndateableBecause i can’t cry myself to sleep with you over there crying yourself to sleep @midnight
— Billy (@Billy_el_flaco) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause of my criminal record #backgroundcheck lol
— Bunny Wilde ♥ (@bunnyhunter_) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause you go to karaoke and sing Creed songs @midnight
— Rod Farva (@scottieimp) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause too many muscles. Too high of a number of muscles
— muchz 2 chain (@youturnmejon) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause this is my face when a girl talks to me… @midnight pic.twitter.com/0JYAZQOEXU
— Bryan Stranahan (@stranaconda) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause pic.twitter.com/KRq5vVNvy4
— michael (@michaeljhudson) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause I look like the owl from the tootsie roll commercials
— THE IRONIC SHEIK (@Hanzi83) May 21, 2014
I found cat hair on my vibrator. #undateablebecause @midnight
— Nichole A Brining (@thisisnichole) May 21, 2014
Can only get off by watching the cake frosting face mask scene from Mrs. Doubtfire #UndateableBecause @midnight
— Renie Rivas (@Renie_Rivas) May 21, 2014
I’m actually two children in an oversized trench coat, bowler, and fake moustache #UndateableBecause @midnight
— b r (@BertTrader) May 21, 2014
I rock sweatpants like I just got out of a 3 year relationship, at the beginning of the relationship. #UndateableBecause @midnight
— Katie Haller (@halleratyou) May 21, 2014
#Undateablebecause Chris Hansen keeps interrupting our dates. @midnight
— Adam Wolf (@AdamWolf77) May 21, 2014
Mother says she’s all the woman I need in life. #UndateableBecause @midnight
— Jeff Warden (@JeffDWarden) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause When we had sex I had to pretend you were a pizza. @midnight — @midnight (@midnight) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause i value the skin on my fried chicken more then my girl sadly — Adrian A.D. Peterson (@AG_dre_90) May 21, 2014
#UndateableBecause my ex-wife filled my car with owls. I drove it through a car wash with the windows down and they still won’t leave — M. Crow (@mean_crow) May 21, 2014
Even Panera got in on it:
#UndateableBecause my heart already belongs to Broccoli Cheddar Soup.
— Panera Bread (@panerabread) May 21, 2014
